I am sad. Completely heart broken…..
I never wanted this to happen and yet it has. My heart is slowly breaking…..the world has never appeared so ugly to me until tonight. So much beauty has never disintegrated so fast…..what will I do without you? I don’t want to consider it ever…..I don’t want it to ever happen. I won’t be able to handle it.
God…give me a message. ANSWER ME…..anything…something….
will be a good year. Just like every other year. December is already a memory. Crazy…right?
It’s already the 9th of January. I feel like yesterday was just the 1st. Everyone wants to move on so fast…here I am wanting time to slow down for a little bit. I can’t enjoy the holidays or simple days too much. It’s not fair. =/
This year will be an eventful year as usual. But with serious school projects, job adventures, trips and weddings…it’ll be a fun one at that. ;)
My boyfriend bought a Wii U but he’s spending more time on Hearthstone. Ai yah…this crazy kiddo. I wish he had more active hobbies. Something that doesn’t require too much sitting. I sit when I work…I need to get a high ceiling home like my last apartment so I can put up a badminton net in the living room and play against him. Haha. That would be really fun. :D
DIY Home studio that costed me about $300. It’s an estimation. I’ll have to add up all the real numbers. BUT it cost me the backdrops, balloons, wooden floor planks, DIY shadowboxes, work lights and set props. Great deal, eh? The photos I got were gorgeous, I still can’t believe I got all these wonderful photos from THAT studio I built in two days.
Oh you know…just been busy…taking awesome photos of beautiful people!
Check out the rest of the session~beeeeee-autiful.
DON’T go out with friends who are going to get you “shit-faced” and then LEAVE you at the party. Irresponsible people who go out and aren’t responsible for their friends piss me off. When your friend gets raped because s/he’s drunk, don’t go telling him/her that they drank too much. Your dumb ass should have TAKEN HIM/HER HOME because THEY CAME WITH YOU. And don’t even go on about how they were whoring around and asking for it because I for one don’t go out to the bars to get drunk and hope that someone rapes me. No one WISHES for that kind of shit. So shut the hell up and pray it never happens to you because SUPPOSEDLY you were doing something right that night. That is NOTHING to brag about, NOTHING to gossip about and NOTHING to be proud about. That is weak and cruel. That is a person with FEELINGS and YOU of all people as a ‘FRIEND’ should have more compassion, sympathy, empathy and kindness during this time.
I just can’t comprehend this situation…..nothing makes it right to go and tell someone else about how your friend was so stupid to get herself raped. No one goes out hoping/asking to get raped. It’s something called drink responsibly and BE with responsible people *(which you weren’t because you obviously left her there).
All I’m going to say is if I was your friend and I took you out, I would NEVER EVER leave you at a bar, drunk to get raped, to pass out cold…to wake up in someone else’s bed…or in a hospital bed. I’m just so angry right now……..if you’re going to drink, drink responsibly with responsible people. And it’s sad that I know you’ll never learn from your idiotic mistake. How dare you blame them…no one asks for it. No one, not even you so don’t you dare point the finger back at them.
I’m thinking of that one time I liked a guy and we liked each other but then an old flame returned into his life. She didn’t introduce herself to me that way, but she befriended me and I naively took her in as a friend not knowing she was going to take him away from me one day.
I remember cutting all ties with the both of them after wasting a whole year playing tug and war with him and putting all the pieces together. Sulking in my misery and naivety…I pitied myself. It didn’t help that things were slowly falling out of place.
I remember helping my aunt at her stand during a Hmong festival…I hear someone calling my name. There she was…smiling, waving happily as if nothing happened within that struggle…holding his hand……they both waved to me and inquired about my well-being…as it silently slapped me across the face. I stood there dumbfounded……..I managed an “I’m good…” with an awkward smile and turned around. My fists clenched…
…it hurt so much and I don’t think they realized it. How could someone do that to me? Why did I let them? But I guess everything needed to fall out of place so all these good things could happen.
I spent this whole day waiting around for people. For things to happen so my day could start. And it didn’t.
I absolutely detest waiting around for people who won’t wait for me. Who don’t have the patience for me but expect me to wait for them.
Annoying as hell……….I sat around freezing for people. I could have fulfilled a lot today if I didn’t trust my time with people.
But then again, maybe I shouldn’t have expected too much then I wouldn’t be so disappointed time and time again.
And here I am waiting to order food….always waiting…..
Matthew and I are doing some online shopping because we like going to stores to shop only to debate that we can find a better deal online. Then we proceed to come home to shop online but end up in the cute videos area of youtube.
But, there’s so much going on right now. It’s almost overwhelming but we can get through it. We’ve been thinking about buying a house…..I think it’d be a great investment! I’d love to renovate!!!!! I have limited space in our temporary home for us to renovate, buy furniture we want and reupholster all my good finds I have. We haven’t even thought about marriage or a wedding BUT we’re considering a house. Crazy? No…we just want to be stable! We’ve got the car, washer/dryer, lawn mower, microwave, toaster, television…we even have the nice camera with a nice lens and we just got a cute little gopro camera for our trips! We even went on our small pre-honeymoon trip to Costa Rica…lol. We’re doing everything backwards, but I wouldn’t do it any other way. It’s beautiful…he’s beautiful, wonderful and inspiring. I love each and every moment..the stressful, the good and the love we both receive. =)
Off to chuckle with each other with the little things~~~~~we’ve been thinking about going to Japan. I want Matthew to meet my other family over there! They would love him so much…..there’s so many people I love who live far away and I WANT them to meet Matthew. I want and NEED these people to meet and have each other in their lives. A good night to all~it’s been almost 5 years…I’m not tired of him yet and I don’t ever want to be! Thank you Father for your unconditional love you give me~
"Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional." -Scott Peck
I started my first class today and I am super duper excited! =D